We Don't Need No Stinkin' Lottery!

Update: Yeah, yeah - those sneaky Democrats came back and voted in the lottery while one GOP senator was in the hospital and another was on his honeymoon, and days after Marc Basnight (senate majority leader) said (and I quote): "We're done, we're out of here." Get ready Tar Heels, you're about to be sucker-punched right in the wallet.

These lottery mavens are nuts. Really. They’re very concerned in a staged, frowny-faced sort of way that the hard-earned cash of low- to middle-income Tar Heels (and a few of the upper class who dabble) is flowing across our borders to (GASP!) Virginia and South Carolina. How DARE those other states outdo us in fleecing our own citizenry? We could keep those people right here, use that money for edjumacayshun and save gas, too!

Let’s be realistic here. If we take people’s money and invest it in their education, eventually they’ll learn enough to understand their odds of winning. They may even realize that the State of North Carolina is banking on their gullibility to keep the lottery going. At that point, the lottery is doomed because these newly educated folk will stop throwing their money away on State-sponsored gambling!

This is why many states with lotteries have begun to use the proceeds for other purposes. The money-for-education scheme worked so well that their citizens were getting too smart to be suckered in! If we’re going to have a successful lottery here in NC, the money must NOT go to education or we'll end up in the same boat. Of course, this takes away the primary stated purpose for having the lottery in the first place.

This just in: State Democrats may hold one more vote on the lottery before they really, really adjourn for this session. The difference this time will be that 2 GOP congressmen won’t be there. That’s enough votes out of the ‘no’ column to pass the lottery. Sounds like dirty politics to me: “If we can’t win enough people over to our side, we’ll just wait ‘til some of those party-poopers are absent to hold our vote!” When the Republicans pull this type of stunt, the Democrats scream louder than a football fan when his cable goes out on Sunday! Now, they're the ones trying a stunt to pass a bill that would cause more harm than good.

Design an Intelligent Plan of Action and Get Back to Me

Disclaimer: NC Steve recognizes no specific religion (or absence thereof) as having more validity than any other. He would not presume to know what is best for anyone but himself, which is poking fun at religious posers. If you are a peaceful individual who truly strives to live your belief (whatever it may be) and it brings joy and comfort to your life, STICK TO IT! I have no beef with anyone who strives to better themselves and the world around them without harming others to get ahead or prove their point.

How many times do we have to revisit this ridiculous argument? Would knowing how mankind came to exist on Earth change our way of life? Whoever was proved right could say ‘I told you so’, but we’d still have doubters who would become even more annoyed. We’d still have the same struggles and the same triumphs. More than ever, as a race (human, that is) we STILL need to learn to live together without killing each other and keep the Earth viable for future generations. I doubt finding out that we grew from amoebas or that some intelligent being had a hand in it (or both) would dramatically alter these facts.

But what about this Intelligent Design theory? How does it differ from traditional Creationism? Would our creator (if one exists) have been able to create our world without intelligence? If not, then we’re accusing him/her/it of being stupid (this does explain George W. Bush). If intelligence was required to create everything, then there can be no fundamental difference between the two, other than the time it took for creation to reach its current state.

There are some holes in this ‘new’ theory. For example, why were diseases included in the design? “AHA!” you say – “it’s to keep the population size under control!” That worked really well, didn’t it? I guess Mr. Intelligent mistakenly gave us the ability to fight and cure diseases (other than al Qaeda) so we could go ahead and over-populate anyway! If this creator-being is so darn smart, why do we have psychopaths, murderers and rapists? Why do the innocent suffer for the deeds of criminals, corporations, governments and…and…RELIGIONS?!

I know, we weren’t created perfect – we were created in what’s-its-name’s image. Apparently, we're MEANT to struggle and cause physical and emotional harm to one another! That way, even a murderer can later say he’s sorry, repent and get lifted into the heavens to join the innocent victims he’s already dispatched there.

Live your life, people! Find something productive to do, like write sarcastic humor and insult everyone! Whatever event(s) spawned our creation, it’s the future that has me worried.