The Sleepover

Oh. My. Gawd. I thought girls were supposed to be the quiet ones. I thought they were far better-behaved than boys. I’ve got news for you, folks!

My 10-year-old daughter is having her first-ever slumber party tonight in celebration of her birthday. While the girls are in the other room with my wife, arguing over which friggin’ episode of Gilligan’s Island Season 2 to watch (I think they just decided on the chicken people from Mars episode – a classic), I’m hanging out here in the ol’ home office.

I have to tell you – I grew up with 2 younger sisters who had slumber parties many times. But even having 2 sisters didn’t prepare me for the non-stop screaming, wrestling and mayhem that took place in my home tonight.

A couple of the girls, I knew were trouble. I really wasn’t sure what to expect from most of the others since I didn’t know them as well. It turned out that the 2 girls I expected to be shrinking violets were the loudest, most obnoxious ones of the bunch (more like shrieking violets). At their homes, screaming at the top of their lungs must be encouraged because there’s no way you develop pipes like those in a single day.

The 2 shriekers were also the ones jumping on the other girls and punching them. Not in a mean way, you understand. I figured out why they did it – they both have older brothers, so they’ve learned that a little rasslin’ is de rigueur. What they didn’t learn is that not all girls have older brothers and don’t enjoy being jumped on until later in life, and then they pretend to like it more often than not. But I digress.

I think that in general the girls are enjoying themselves. I know their parents are! Almost all the parents who came by to drop off their kid were headed out for an evening on the town. Heck, I don’t blame ‘em. The last time our daughter went to someone else's slumber party, we did the same thing! I told each parent when they arrived that I expected their daughters to have sleepovers and invite Allison, whether it was their birthday or not!

So, tonight I learned a few things:

1. Only serve caffeine-free beverages at slumber parties.
2. Check to see if the guests have older brothers before inviting them.
3. Demand quid pro quo from the other parents and teach your daughter how to scream and wrestle ahead of time.

Thank goodness most of this challenge is behind me now. My wife will get the little hellions...er...angels to sleep, and then I get to make pancakes in the morning. But I will no longer tolerate any screaming. The first adorable little girl that lets loose a piercing scream at breakfast is getting a face full of Aunt Jemima!