Hurricane Doofus

Help Wanted:
Hurricane Field Reporter
The Weather Station is looking to replace one of its reporters who is now a human kite somewhere over North Carolina.

Qualifications: Must have a death wish. Must be capable of withstanding 100+ mph winds (120+ preferred), be an expert at dodging flying shingles and look good while doing it. You will be subject to a wind tunnel test and a dodgeball game in which you will face 50 people using catapults while being sprayed by a fire hose.

Educational Requirements: The less you know, the better.

At the Weather Station, we take storm coverage seriously! That's why we sacrifice, er, employ only the finest for our storm coverage teams. Please submit your resume and references including your minister, physician and next of kin.
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What's the purpose of these live broadcasts? The people being most affected by the storm are hunkered down trying to stay alive and they already know what's happening. With no power, do they really benefit from Mr. Doofus standing out there on camera? And why are hurricanes an acceptable risk? No one puts on an asbestos suit and reports from the middle of a forest fire!

What I really want to see is a storm reporter get lifted into the air, use his microphone cord as a tether and report live from inside the actual storm. This may actually be the next competetive move by the networks - allowing their people to be swept up by the storm and reporting on conditions as they fly through it (MY idea - if you steal it I'll sue you!).

Risking peoples' lives to deliver storm news is crazy. We have the technology to put cameras into outer space and on the surface of Mars. Couldn't we deploy remote cameras and weather instruments to the most dangerous spots? What we really want to see is floating buses and buildings being torn apart! Why can't the reporter be inside, monitoring feeds from cameras recording the greatest devastation?

Maybe I'm the one who has it wrong, but I'll be damned if I'm going to sit there and watch another minute of Mr. Doofus leaning and squinting into the wind trying to operate his little whirlygig. Hmm, that sounds a bit like another activity...